-// i hate the way you dont seem like you care.


See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you

Baby I don't know why you treatin me so bad
You said you love me, no one above me
And I was all you had
And though my heart is eating for you
I can't stop crying
I don't know how
I allow you to treat me this way and still i stay

See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you

Baby I don't know why you wanna do me wrong
See when I'm home, I'm all alone
And you are always gone
And boy, you know I really love you
I can't deny
I can't see how you could bring me to so many tears
after all these years

See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you

I trusted you, I trusted you
So sad, so sad
what love will make you do
all the things that we accept
be the things that we regret

See, when I get the strength to leave
You always tell me that you need me
And I'm weak cause I believe you
And I'm mad because I love you
So I stop and think that maybe
You can learn to appreciate me
Then it all remains the same that
You ain't never gonna change

See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you

Baby why you hurt me leave me and desert me
Boy I gave you all my heart
And all you do is tear it up
Looking out my window
Knowing that I should go
Even when I pack my bags
There's something always holding me back

ahaha finally online :D
my sis and i happily forgot the password.
and i feel like some cavewoman.
my sister just made me retype password. cos i typed pw initially and she was like gasping in horror 'no no pls dont type that!' cos it looked like pw. as in, project work. haha lameness.
AND its during the times when you need people around you
that you find out who your real friends are and if they really do care.
thanks, everyone who was there :)
ANYWAYS.
think i cmi to sa alr la :(
-super sad frown.
heard the cut off is currently 11 or smth! madness. even if its for science, arts ll prob be like 13..
what am i to do with 15! guess its cj for now..but people have been telling me horror stories about the strict discipline and stuff. like ejedhiuhg -scrunches face-
rushing off to tuition soon!
then gonna meet ree to study. (sorry, sweetie boy boy and ah girl. pls continue painting hard / facial-ing hard without ma around..haha)
super freaked out, everything begins on monday ._.
SCREAMS!
so not prepared..this is bad! (ooh. that rhymed!)
lucks, everyone!

and oh before i forget..
HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY MY EVER DEAREST DARLING TINGS..huang shang'r, summer or whatever nicknames we constantly come up with..SWEET SIXTEEN! may you be as pretty as summer (rachel bilson) or cecilia cheung and find macon in the states. hahas. youre the best :) lovee!

//i know, i'll just smile.

shit, im still really slack.
great, im just gonna end up doing poorly for o's.
was really whiny today, didnt feel like doing anything.
oh whatever.

dont even know why i bother checking my gbk.
-grumbles.
okay as ive said, im really whiny.
stop it!

//someone has to tell you this is it.

im sorry i dont want to apologise anymore ; for myself, for you.
things were so fine but its not now. i dont know where it all went. im so tired of all the hotness and coldness brewing, i dont know what to expect. this feels foreign, you feel foreign. its like dont know you anymore.

crying, everyday of your life, they say.
puffy eyes are ugly.
well, time for a revamp.

i know im far from good
and im really sorry i affect your moods cos im way too sensitive (and also insenstive at the same time), cos i complain a lot, cos im not as good as the other (ie looks and everything else too), cos i dont understand, cos i always screw things up, cos its always me and my crap shit..
but i have feelings too.
i cant help but think the things that i think, cant help mood swinging, cant help feeling very very rotten over horrid results and being rotten to you too..
i try not to and i hate it but its a part of me, of what i do.
and i hope everything will be okay from now,
i really really really
need you.

love, lotsss.

online blogging again!
think im addicted to this stuff.

kinda happy with my l1r5
though its not fantastic like the pure breeds (heard they even told the bread stall aunty about their 6 points..god!) ..or glam like my single digit bestie..or wai the brain..but overall, i fared better than i thought i would! its the math..haha. mrs koh rocks! :D (actually tings and i decided st nicks is really great..the people, the tchers, the food and the place! think it took us 4 years of saying it sucks to change our minds..still not too late right? haha) and my mum wanted me to get 12! like er, very funny huh. just hope i can get to sajc for the first 3 mths! though i guess its kinda impossible, me against the 13s and 14s who would prob be signing up for sa too.. :( oh well. hope some moderation would be done..or maybe they'd all decided to go acjc and not deprive me of a place! bent on getting in there.

anyways. went far east after it all..had waffle at gelare (i knw hw to pronounce it nw k, da!) and tom yam upstairs w tings :) uh, think we both fare rather badly at being street smart..

right. and im gonna have dinner now! swear im getting fat. bleahh.

need to really really start some serious mugging! been super slack since the prelims ended..focus focus. vying with the other DRAGON BABIES..rolls eyes.

anyway, this is for da, dinah, laine, syl and some others sorry i cant recall now..dont worry, really. the sch has some um, committee tht serves to help us so lets hope they'll help! pls dont cry anymore k? it'll be okay! -group hug!

//make it good, make it good.

decided to come online cos i have quite a lot to say..
oh guess what, im listening to aaron carter again. haha.

anyway today has been way too emotional..especially over here at our class
lotsa people crying, over grades, over friends, over friends crying..was quite a sight. and in the midst of crying i couldnt help but think if i wasnt in 4C but in some other pure breed class (i knw, how on earth wld i get thr in the first place?? but yknow. just an example), everyone would probably be shunning me and looking down on me instead of comforting me. i really think my class rocks actually.
so thanks, YINS esp (for listening to me rant since tuesday and always never giving up on me!! and also your very sweet list of quotes. haha) DINAH+MINA (you both give the best hugs..esp mina! i think i shall hug you more often. haha) SABRINA WEE (youre the best, dear. really.) REE! pls dont cry anymore -drives your headache away- they WILL help you after reviewing. okay? thanks for sayanging me..haha. mel, and the sixers, couldnt really remember in the blur haha. and sylvia please do cheer up. DADEEDOO..cheer up, you! and also, thanks, dsf!! and tings! for being the typical silly muddlehead..its really okay, im good now. its not your fault dear.

feel quite dumb doing like, the credits roll or something. but really, guys! thanks for letting me wet your pinafores, especially at the shoulder area. haha. realised that shows how short i am, my eyes are actually at their shoulder level! okay nvm crap.

REGARDLESS of the utterly DISAPPOINTING chem AND comb humans, i realised there are actually other stuff that brightened up my day! like the bus uncle insisting on giving me a free ride when i was digging in my wallet for coins and came up with only a one dollar coin, my friends, once again, for being superb people, my lit! (omg i love ms jeya), my carrot, for just being herself :) and ALSO, the fact tht there's the oc ltr!! yipee. so y'see. grades cannot make or break you. okay actually they can. but yea. just trying to be optimistic. so tht yins wont feel that her constant efforts of drilling and quotes have gone down the chute.

SMILES.
:)

actually, im feeling highly hypocritical with that smile.
but whatever.

so, tomorrow, THE bomb..math+amath. oh and h.chi too. but worrying more on math cos i need to count one math for my l1r5..i really just want to pass. pleasey please..dont wanna cry anymore. crying is a tiresome and cumbersome task to do.

Sick and tired of this world
There's no more air
Trippin' over myself
Goin' nowhere
Waiting
Suffocating
No direction
And I took a dive

tsk. dnt knw wht happened to my prev entry..just disappeared into thin air!
anyway the background is lana lang+clarke kent!
in case you cant see..
and i think you cant,
but whatever.

results were pretty o-kay.
though disappointed with english,
hanging on a thin line for my distinction for lit since jeya has yet to returned the other part of the paper (which im most prob gonna fare worse),
couldve gotten a grade higher for physics if i had written the units for the practical!
ARGH.

but whatever.

oh my goodness!
ms jacob said someone failed english compre terribly!
its GOT to be me. oh god. i knew it. this is veryvery depressing. what am i gonna do!!?
freaking out badly now.
sigh.
TUGS AT HAIR, literally.
oh no actually i cant do that. cos my hair is already falling uncontrollably at an alarming rate due to my suspicious case of breast cancer (which is also believed to be the obstruction of the growth at you-know-where)
but whatever.
AHH! i need to calm down!!
but i really wanna go jc for my first 3 months :(
poof its over. (this reminds me of some nelly song i think. was it nelly?)
im sad and miserable.
gonna watch america's next top model now.
and get further depressed watching the hot babes sashaying about..

oh yes, darling.
happy 3rd month :)
hee. and remember our bet! no video taping k! deal!

-coughs.
really sick and dying, so stayed at home.
yea, right.

perfect10's playing the collaboration of i dont wanna know and you should really know. i think it kinda screwed up the songs. (but da just cant stop singing the screwed up versh! all the time..sing till i went deaf..)

anyway. should i change my layout?
apt to, but really lazy to find..

found out gravity's sung by coldplay! coldplay rocks man. all their songs are damn good.

and then i looked up at the sun
and i could see
oh, the way that gravity turns on you and me
and then i looked up at the sun
and saw the sky
and the way that gravity pulls on you and i
on you and i

-

talked to stepo last friday..got all freaked out over our grad dresses. i cant seem to find anything anywhere! prob gonna tailor make it with dadeedoo. or else i'm gonna wear a towel on grad night ._.
anyway miss you, queenie! 23rd's a date :) or is it 26th? when's the openhouse actually? my sister doesnt even know! fainted.

getting back our prelim papers tomorrow..maybe i could just fast forward everything and get on with it. it wouldnt hurt to not know that i brilliantly flunk everything, right?
-crosses fingers.
hoping there'll be no tears!
but then, knowing me..sigh.

gonna meet carrot ltr..
hpe i wont disturb/annoy her :(